Plumbing in the Grey Toon

So when people ask you what you do do you feel like you should validate it? I do.

Hi I’m Billy.

Hi Billy, what do you do?

I don’t do anything. I stay at home and look after the baby …but I’m a plumber to trade.

It’s stupid! Like being a plumber is somehow more worthy than looking after my daughter! LOL

Well not no more.

I’m Billy, I stay at home to look after my daughter and I’m glad I do. I’m a kept man and I’m fine with that, who cares what inference you take from this? I don’t!

Yet another new look for the site but this time I’ve moved (yet another blog) to wordpress. The transition was fairly easy except for the importing of posts. I had to import them from the blogger hosted blog into a wordpress.com hosted blog first before exporting(and re-importing) to this blog as my webhost is godaddy.com who helpfully </sarcasm> block https ports by default on their regular packages. grnggh

Still, I’m glad I’ve moved and did the validation thing. Wordpress is so much better because of at least one crucial benefit - pages. I wanted to post a few plumbing “how-to” pages on simple jobs but that’s a no-go in blogger. You can only post blog posts. No hacks. Yuck!

So as a service to my loyal readers I’m going to be posting some how-to pages soon.

billy

I’m not saying I’m posh but…

Happy new year y’all (I know I’m a week late but meh!)

billy

I did a wee job last night for a lovely couple from the Canadian internets who now live in Aberdeen. It was a tank removal. Job done in say 20 minutes or so. Payment? One cranberry and orange sponge pudding!

Lovely!

btk

I fitted a bum scoosher yesteray. Like a DIY bidet, as used by asian/indonesian types. I think I should have fitted a pressure reducing valve though. I piped it all up nicely in chrome, even finding myself a chrome backplate elbow for it, shiny! When I turned the supply on and tested the head(like a shower head with a “trigger” on it), pointing it into the WC pan, it almost blew the trap out! That’s some fast icy cold water jetting onto your nether regions. Ouch!

I did warn the guy, who was having it fitted for his wife’s(an indonesian herself) family who are visiting and think that western bog-roll ways are disgusting, that it only needed turning on slowly and a little bit to be effective. He reckons he doesn’t care as he’s not using it anyhow!

Reminding him about it as I left, so he could pass it on to his missus he replied, “No, I want her to find that out herself!”

Now that’s a real stupid brave hard man!

btk

I got paid for a job today in cakes. I’ll let that sink in for a second.

It actually works out great for me, since I love cakes(esp. home made efforts) and the work was easy. I think I might even start a bartering scheme. I’ll start accepting payment for work done in goods/services of the equivalent value.

Here’s a guide pricelist….

Dripping/leaking/etc. Tap - £10 OR 6-pack of budweiser
Fit Washing Machine - £40 OR Do the electrics on a shower for me some time…
Fit Bathroom Suite - £200 OR Get this weeks shopping in from tesco, including a new pair of jeans for me (32W/34L) tyvm

It’s tax free too, so that’s gotta be worth something.

Good idea I think.

billy

One of the good things about being unemployed is not working, well that’s temporarily halting this weekend while i fit a bathroom for friends.

Good points about homers…

plenty of coffee
understanding of forgetfullness!

bad points…

no money in it

cool 2-1 says homers rock!

billy

This week I have a couple of plumbing jobs to do, an outside tap and a shower replacement, both for the same customer. Not working is great. I’d recommend it to anyone.

I quit!

For some reason they ran out of work for the plumbers today in my depot. So I trundled off to the main depot at Kittybrewster for some work. Kitty doesn’t deal with empty houses though so I was in occupied houses. What a treat, not!! What’s wrong with the people of Aberdeen?

I should have taken a picture of the wallpaper in the first house. Wowza! I had a line to “overhaul cistern” which really means fix whatever’s wrong with it. What I should have had was investigate and repair cause of noise in pipework. Although the result would have been the same. I think the noise was tinnitus or something cause I couldn’t hear a thing.

Next up I go to a house in Sunnyside(?) with lines to resecure WHB and renew WC cistern. The woman is outside another house when I turn up and yells over, “ih you the plummur? They’re waitin oan yi in the kitchen, jist gae in”

Fair enough, I open the front door and I’m met with the biggest dingo-esque dug you’ve ever seen! I about messed the close there and then! Anyhow, I go in(it was actually a really friendly mutt) and am then met with two joiners who had been waiting on me to take out the kitchen sink… Hang on a minute! I don’t have a line for that. Luckily the boss man appears and tells me to renew the sink as well as the other things I actually have lines for.

I’m back there tomorrow with another joiner to fix the basin. I hope some more people have left their houses, I can’t be doing with this social interaction at all…

Billy

I think today marks the beginning of the end of my career with Aberdeen City Council. They (the gaffers) have started pulling me up on jobs. My time sheets have been questioned as well. Even though I have been more than covering my time using the proper codes in the book for the work done they still question me about it.

I can feel a work to rule coming on, if they want aditional work requests they can get them, for everything not included on the original ticket, even if it’s a stopcock while fitting a cistern.

Anyhow when I got home today I kick started my LGV training, booking myself in for the medical in Glasgow of all places next week, I’ve also filled out my D2 ready to go when I get done with the medical. I can’t wait to be shot of this stupid job.

On a brighter note I’m still a plumber and still live in the grey toon, so anecdotes should still be forthcoming, although almost certainly the houses will be less stinky.

Billy

You go for months with no stinking houses then loads come along at once. I’ve never seen so many hoachers in such a short time. One of my cynical workmates reckons that we had a spate of clean(er) houses to get our productivity up for the end of the financial year. It’s better for morale within the workforce if you aren’t up to your elbows in mystery grease, therefore you do more and get the houses knocked out.

We are currently running at 87% of houses are returned, finished within the three week target they give us. This is exceptionally good by the way. My aforementioned workmate reckoned they held back the current spate of stinkers ’til now…

This week I had two that stand out in my memory.

I knew the first one was going to be bad when I entered it. The spark who was already there started laughing out loud and said, “HAHA, You are gonna love this one!”
He must have meant that with irony. There was so much ‘gadziness‘ about it that the floor in the bathroom had to be completely ripped out and re-laid. The water was already off(a bad sign) due to the shower pipework being half ripped out in traditional, bend it til it snaps off, style. The lack of water hadn’t stopped them using the can though had it! ha.

Still the up-side of this is that when I came to install the new bathroom I had a nice clean new floor to do it on.

The second house was so stinking that the entire floor in the whole house is being renewed!
The sink in this house had more of that mystery brown grease stuff all over it. It was removed from it’s place using the, pipeslice the supplies and hit the beggar with a hammer until it lands on the floor with or without worktop still attached, method.

I’ve not been back at that one yet to renew the sink, WC and WHB yet as the joiners haven’t finished the floor/kitchen.

Oh and after deciding that my digi-video-cam was actually crap for photos I’ve bought myself a new Kodak EasyShare digital camera from eBay so watch out for more pics from the stinkier side of Aberdeen in the near future.

Billy

I’m back to work this week after six weeks off, due to the stinki-housness of work. (link to what happened). When I returned I was told by the boss man that any houses I’m not happy with because of the state of them I’ve just to tell them and I won’t need to work in them. Which is good really. I’ve always wondered how much I should take in the way of filth!

So far I’ve been lucky with no stoaters yet, in fact one was even freshly painted!! No doubt this will end tomorrow, lol. Oh that reminds me, better stick the camera in to charge…

Billy

…as I was the only tradesman to not refuse to work in one particularly pleasant house. The previous occupant had been evicted, but before leaving(perhaps the cause of subsequent eviction,) had decided to relieve their bowels down the side of the WC pan, bathroom floor and wash hand basin.

Of course my job was a bathroom replacement, lovely.

In the same house I also have the kitchen sink to replace. There was some sort of brown goop clogging up the existing inset sink, and the smell in the kitchen was absolutely revolting. I got the thing disconnected, (non-plumbers, imagine kneeling down in front of your sink and reaching the tap connections at the back for an idea of how close your nose is to the sink,) and shoved the big screwdriver under the edge to break it free of the worktop.

It was giving me “the dry boke” the entire time, but the worst was yet to come. Upon the release of the sink from the worktop there was the broken seal of the drain to contend with.

Once I had my guts under control I had to tackle the bathroom.

Removed the shower pipework, then the basin, which actually wasn’t as bad as I had thought it was going to be, I could stay far enough from the thing to avoid contact with anything nasty. Then I removed the WC, which was also not too bad, it was all fitted with flexi stuff so nice and easy to get it out, plus it was fairly new so the cistern came off the pan as the bolts weren’t rusted up yet.

Anyhow, long story short, I got hold of some underlay foamy rubber backed stuff from the depot and covered the bathroom floor before commencing the installation. I tried to not think of ‘what lies beneath’ as I was fitting the bath. The bath practically fell into position with just a little bit of PITA with levelling it under the tiles.

That was enough for me for one day in that house, I need to return tomorrow to fit the basin and WC, but hopefully those will drop into place as well.

I didn’t find out until finishing time that others had refused to work there. I had actually spent the time between getting the sink out and starting on the bathroom pacing the hall wondering how bad it had to be before I could refuse.

That bad apparently… lol

Billy

I was in a house today, not particularly stinking, but not the cleanest, had that old person smell about it. Anyhow it was a strange one because the job was “remove back boiler and pipework”, which isn’t that common these days as most cooncil properties are centrally heated or use combis. Well I reckon the person(s) who lived there might have been there since the building was built (this was in the Seaton area, the granite buildings) as these beauties infer…

Original Fireplace?

How old??

That cooker’s not still under warranty is it??I realise my camera skills need work, but the camera isn’t the best and, er, some other excuses…

Billy

I didn’t have any stinking houses today, well not proper stinking, so I thought I’d show you this.

Prohibition

Well it made me laugh. Happy St. Andrew’s Day everyone.Billy

Below are three pictures taken from two different houses I was in today, see if you can spot the common denominator…

House 1


House 2

Useless junkie tossers. The first house was just a total dive, the second a little better kept but still a “moger”. There would have been a third house to this too, coincidentally next door to house 1, but the stupid camera ran out.Not only this but in the missing third house the ‘previous occupants’ removed all the visible pipework, everything. From the Main stopcock to the sink(inc. sink top) to the bath,basin and WC cistern, boiler and radiators! I think my week is pretty much accounted for.

billy

Every junkie in the toon should be issued a set of pipeslices. That way when they rip out the cylinder for scrap money, the plumber has an easier job of putting a new one in.

Not like my job tomorrow where I need to renew the c/w storage tank, sections of cold mains, cold feed, hot water supply and drain off points along with the cylinder.

Along with their methadone programmes they should all be enrolled in classes including

1. how to turn off the water
2. how to remove sections of plumbing properly

Billy

I spent the morning on an object handling course. Now I can lift boxes of appropriate size and weight safely…

…until the next time I throw my back out.

If you are used to doing something in a certain way apparently even if the employer’s risk assessment shows it should be done in a different way, you still have a claim, since it’s the ‘done way’*.

Turns out there are risk assessments for every job I should come across held somewhere in the cooncil offices. These are, by law, to be made available to any employee on request…

I can see some poor office girl getting a new load of work in the near future!

Billy

*Done way was put using better jargon, C&C, but I can’t remember what the Cs stand for. Means accepted way of doing things anyhow, look it up!

[edit 18th April 2007 - Custom and Practise! not c&c at all[/edit]

I called the site stinking-houses because that’s what I work in.

under sink/washing machine area
behind the toilet, luckily I had to get stuck in there

mystery stain dropped from unit above

How people can live like it is amazing/appalling. All these pictures are from just one house I had today. I had to play ‘hunt the stopcock’, a game plumbers love, especially in stinking houses…

oh, there it is!

I’m not saying the place was rough or anything but it looks like someone nicked the vent from the window!

It takes all sorts I suppose but surely there are some out there we might be better off without!

I would die of embarrassment were I to leave a house in the state of the houses in which I find myself working.

When I was working for myself I used to get loads of letters from would be apprentices wanting into this job, haha. I hope they all ended up in IT…

Billy

It was an easy mistake to make, I got a line to replace a plug & chain at a bath. What did I do, well I ripped out the kitchen sink of course!

I suppose an explanation other than “I’m stupid” is in order.

I got 3 job lines at the same time, I thought they were all for the same house when actually the sink and W/M lines were for 105D and the plug & chain line was for 109D. I had all three lines together with 109 at the top. Went in the house, stripped out the sink for the joiners to fit the kitchen and left.

Sitting in the van I went to write out my time sheet and was checking the job number. That’s when I noticed the mistake.

*£$^&!!!!

I still had to strip out 105, not only that but I hadn’t even done the plug and chain in 109!!!

If only I’d had 105 at the top, what’s an extra plug & chain after all?

I put in a ticket to replace the taps at 109, they were needed anyhow so it’s damage limitation at it’s best. The sink was, luckily, salvagable.

If it’s any consolation it’s my tax money that pays for this too…

Billy ;o)

Of the most annoying things to happen when trying to do a job, near the top must be this…

Yes that meter does read -£56.39 the bloody joiners used up all the power didn’t they. Ok fair enough, I would have done the same probably, what I wouldn’t have done is cut the bloody worktop so close to the unit that I couldn’t get my clips in, they’ve even shaved the carcass itself…

As you can imagine I was already cursing them, then I saw the butcherwork of the carcass itself, in particular check out the gappage near the pump…

My opinion of the joiner was confirmed with this…

What you are looking at there is the drawer blank which came off in my hand as I touched it. Damn, I thought, believing that I’d burst the screws through the chipboard. HA! It was only siliconed on to the frame.This is just bad workmanship, which had a knock on effect on my work, I had to re-bore the waste holes for the washing machine as the joiners had notched them running back(away from the drain) on themselves and in doing so they had loosened the waste pipe anyhow, which then had to be entirely renewed.

I always say that a good measure of your work quality is if you would find it acceptable for your own house. What more can they ask for? I always try to leave my jobs of a standard I would accept if I were to be in the house…

…I’d hate to see these “joiners” shacks

Billy

Throwing a sickie today as I hurt my back over the weekend changing the outside lights at home!

- If only I weren’t scared of the dark…

Billy

There’s a generally accepted rule with taps and I am going to let you know it…

Hot to the left. Cold to the right. Unless it’s a bath then the rule is, Hot to the back, Cold to the front.

Working in Aberdeen however I would estimate that 75-90% (including my own above) of all kitchen sinks/wash hand basins are plumbed in backwards. What’s that all about then?

Billy

Saw this today while doing the time sheets, unfortunately I missed the start of it then the camera ran out of battery…
I’m thinking it was probably a joiner easing a window but was a neat effect.

Billy